Sheer Exhaustion

I think we're all still getting past all the drama and emotion of Will's hospitalization at Johns Hopkins.  We never could have completely realized the impact of being separated for 9 days, and the drama of last Monday.  In the moment, you act.  In the moment, you power through it.  But after it is all over, the body and psyche have some healing to do.

Since we have gotten home, Will has been sleeping great.  He's still getting back into the school habit, and we hope that the crankiness and tiredness that he has felt over the past couple of days at school will be short lived.  Matt has not been sleeping well since we got home, and he's been very clingy.  It is hard to know what is going on in his (not so) little head, but we're doing our best to show him the affection that he's craving and encourage him to get back to his awesome sleeping habits.

Luke has been having the toughest time since we all have returned home.  I am not sure what is going on.  He is sleeping normally, but we're getting reports from school that he isn't listening to teachers and is running around uncontrollably.  Today, he had the meltdown of all meltdowns when we told him that we wouldn't be able to go to the pool.  I've never seen him as emotional, irrational, and foul-mouthed as he was today.  It was alarming, to say the least.  Since he has calmed down, we have done our best to encourage good behavior, talk about what happened this afternoon and how to improve, but also trying not to dwell on it too much.

We know that Will went through a lot at Hopkins.  A little less obvious was the confusion and sadness that Luke and Matt felt while he was gone.  Our hope is that with time, these fears and confusions are healed with love and things will return to the much calmer and less teary way that they were.

I celebrated my 33rd birthday this past Saturday with a yard sale, Pei Wei for dinner, and cake at home.  It was pretty low key.  The yard sale was moderately successful - sold about half of what I put out.  As much as I wanted to have energy and excitement over my birthday, I finally realized that I was purely exhausted.  Between the hospital and the travel and the emotion and the late nights/early mornings, I am just tired.  And like with all 3 boys, I know that with time and some earlier nights, I will move past Will's latest hospitalization and get back into the swing of things.  It is just taking a little more time than anticipated.